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8 great gentleman behavior rules, how to stand out positively directly

Benno Büchler, 28.03.2023

Ein moderner Gentleman kennt die wichtigsten Regeln, die er befolgen muss.

Give me one reason not to want to stand out in a positive way.

Doesn't anything come to mind either?

Good, because now I'm going to show you eight gentlemanly rules that you can apply immediately to make a positive impression right away.

As a gentleman it is natural for you that you: Fulfill the clichés, pay attention to your children's manners and be punctual. You make keeping secrets your personality, are attentive in dialogue and reliable for your environment.

The important thing for me is that you don't have to change your whole life and your whole behavior. You should only consider some tiny details in your daily life.

However, the best is yet to come:

Once you have done this for a while, you will do it automatically.

When that happens, you're one giant step closer to being a true modern gentleman!

The clichés

We all know the clichés of the distinguished gentleman.

A gentleman holds the door open for others, he helps his companion into his coat or he even pulls back his chair when a woman wants to sit down.

Well, turns out, these small gestures of attention work wonders.

Because what do you show when you follow these gentleman rules?

You hold the door open so that you can spare your companion this physical labor. Ladies (and gentlemen) are helped into their coats so they can wear them comfortably and not have their collars wrinkled or standing up. And pulling back the chair and helping her sit down ensures that she can maintain her posture while sitting down and still sit close to the table.

If you think that these gestures are outdated and that you will be looked at strangely if you start to integrate them into your behavior, I can reassure you. If you ever have the opportunity to visit a classic luxury restaurant, pay attention to how these techniques are performed by the staff with absolute naturalness. They're not just doing it because they're out to get the most generous tips possible. It is their concern that all guests feel as comfortable and well taken care of as possible.

You want other people to feel comfortable and at ease in your presence? Then start incorporating these small gestures into your behavior.

good manners

Having good manners is absolutely essential if you want to make a positive impression. Usually, people immediately refer to Knigge, but it is even simpler than that.

Remember what your parents taught you and give them credit for putting those things into practice.

  • Give thanks when you receive something.
  • Please be polite, no matter what the issue is.
  • Greet people when you enter a room.
  • Own up to mistakes you've made.

Fortunately, such things are already a matter of course for most of us. However, if you notice that this is not the case for you, you always have the possibility to adjust your behavior accordingly.

The timeliness

Time is precious.

Wasting someone's time by being tardy is an insult, because you're practically telling the other person:

"I am more important than your time."

Remember this point without fail: As a gentleman, you are never late!
(Of course, it always helps to wear a watch on your wrist)

The silence

Do you know the saying: A gentleman keeps silent and enjoys?

Well, it's true and you have to stick to it.

You have seduced someone and spent a heavenly night of intimate togetherness? Good for you. Revel in the memory. But don't make the mistake of telling everyone about it and showing off.

Because: People talk

And if the topic is also as explosive as someone else's love life, there is no limit to gossip.

What happens then, you can imagine for yourself.

The preservation

This point goes hand in hand with the previous gentleman rules.

As a gentleman, you must always keep a secret. Because when someone entrusts you with a secret, it means that he or she trusts you.

If you break that trust now and tell the secret, you are directly distancing yourself from the person. Why should she ever tell you anything personal again if you tell other people directly?

If you do this often enough, you can soon acquaint yourself with a very sad and lonely life. Because no one wants to spend time with someone like that.

The attention

We all want to have deep conversations.

For us to succeed in this, the person we are talking to deserves our 100% attention. This includes several things.

If you're sitting at a table with the person you're talking to, stow your cell phone in your back pocket. It's better to put it away completely. The cell phone vibrates, rings, and constantly tries to catch your attention. In doing so, it destroys any attempt at a deep conversation.

Further, while the other person is speaking, try to listen to him or her with your full attention. That is, you begin to think about your answer only after the other person has finished speaking.
Never get in anyone's way, it's disrespectful.

Show your interviewer that you are interested in their story and are eager to get it right by making eye contact, nodding, and asking clarifying counterquestions.

Don't confuse good listening with silence.

The reliability

Your word is your bond!

As a gentleman, you care about people taking your word and trusting you.

When you give your word to someone, it is a promise to you that you will follow no matter what. At the same time, you expect others to keep their word as well.

Get in the habit of sticking to your promises 100% and others will automatically trust you more when you give them your word.

The bonus tip

Clothes make the man.

I'm not saying you always have to wear suit. Often, this would also just be completely overkill. However, the appearance must not be missing when it comes to gentleman rules. As a rule of thumb, I like to give you how I decide on an outfit when I leave the house:

I think about where I want to go and wonder how the majority will be dressed. Then I try to dress 10% better than that.

For example: you are invited to a small barbecue party. The majority will attend such an event in shorts and a polo shirt. The plus 10% in this case would include wearing a shirt with the sleeves rolled up and long, beige pants.

If you follow this concept for some time and follow it religiously, you will automatically acquire the image of a little better dressed gentleman.


You want to be a gentleman? And you want others to think of a gentleman when they see you?

Then you have no choice but to follow these gentleman rules.

But it is very worth it!

When people feel comfortable in your presence, new friendships, partnerships and relationships can be formed very quickly.

However, to simplify things a bit, I recommend you start with one or two points and slowly increase by adding more and more techniques to your repertoire.

Source cover image: Pexels | edited post

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